my baby's daddy is an addict

Halia

Just last week, I found out that my bf is has heroin addiction. I just found out from his sister who happens to be my schoolmate. As you all know, my parents want us to be together prior to our baby's arrival. I just didn't want to. I admit, saying yes did cross my mind afterwards. But now that I found out about his using of heroine, nay!! His sis told me that my bf wants to live with me and he also said to his family that I'm being immature coz I prefer staying with my mum and dad. I love him but his past fidelity issues and his heroin addiction are the main reasons I have for not wanting to live with him. I know myself and I won't bear the stress alongside my pregnancy and studies. He also spent his whole paycheck for this addiction and drinking sprees...

What should I do? If I live with him and we'll become a "happy" family, you think his fidelity issues and heroine addiction will stop? Or better to stay with our current arrangement?

Cailyn

In my own opinion, I think your decision is logically right. You will not benefit from the stress that you would get living with an addict. Wishing that the addiction AND fidelity issues would stop is just that... wishful thinking. You have no guarantee whatsoever, and you cannot get it that it would stop.

Abigail

Fidelity issues and addiction is not really the formula to a 'happy family'... It would be best if these issues are resolved first before you live together...

Daja

There's nothing immature about staying with your parents if you think it would be better for your baby.

Cadelaria

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all that stress during your pregnancy. I myself still think that being pregnant is difficult even though I have my hubby all the way. It is best to handle this situation with an open mind and weigh things up to know which options should be the best for you. I don't see any problem with you staying with your folks especially now that you're expecting. But you can't also avoid to think about your bf's rights to his child. Talk to him. Give him a chance to deal with this "with you". Straighten things out. And decide from there. Be rest assured that you have your family, friends, and us here to be with you every step of the way too. Take care dear!

Halia

I so agree with you. At first I would really say NO but I have this pain or pang of guilt several days after that. I felt so sad. This weekend we'll definitely talk, just the two of us..

Halia

Thanks for those comforting words Cadelaria. I can't imagine how this problem should be happening. Yes, we have agreed to talk and discuss about this. I'm sure we could talk about a set-up where we would live together as a trial. And you're right, we'll go from there. Easier to leave him while the baby isn't born yet.

Fanny

I apologize for hearing that Halia. I just wish you could resolve this issue. Hoping that whatever your decision is the baby is your topmost priority. Good luck Halia. All the best.

Idalia

If I were you I'll ditch him coz he might make my pregnancy difficult, worrying about a beau who's an addict. Apologies dear but seems like that isn't going to be advisable. If you discuss about it, please be firm enough to say what you think and speak up on what your final decision is. Hugs.

Daja

This is sooo true...