To Wed or Not to Wed

Fanny

Just a thought. My chum is pregnant with her BF of 5 months. BF, as per her comments, is still immature and extremely childish, but is definitely a good looking bloke! She wants to marry him looking forward for a happy family...

Is getting pregnant a good reason for marrying the father of your child? Or tying the knot isn't always the best idea? Cheers

Abigail

Personally, I think "tying the knot" is not really the best idea. I know a lot of people, friends and relatives who did exactly this. Bad idea. A lot of them got separated after a couple of years. I am NOT saying this is what would happen to your friend. Anyway, I think they should try raising the baby together, and if it works well in the end, they love each other then getting married will be really nice but not when the partners in the marriage are still immature.

Fanny

Thanks Abigail. The other day we met after work. She's looking good with the bump for sure. I advised her not to take the plunge just yet, of course I didn't tell her that their post-wedding life could be unpleasant due to his bf's immaturity, but told her to wait after she gives birth. Chum wants to get married ASAP. I know giving her bf a chance to "grow up" is also a good idea, but I've been telling her to please give her decision some time.

Gaetana

Whatever decision she makes is none of your business. Once you've given her a piece of your mind and that's enough. You couldn't change her let alone decide for her. As a responsible adult she should be ready enough to face the consequences of her choices. Getting married isn't always tagged as a "happily married", but come the time she chooses this path, I know she will overcome whatever is ahead of her. I was a divorcee too and I know the pains of it. Also, give the guy a chance. Who knows? The guy might change or grow up into a hubby or dad your best friend wants him to be. But then again everything in life has risks. And let your friend savor those moments, and learn from them.

Idalia

Not a good idea to marry that guy.
I could relate to that coz me and my ex-boyfriend broke up 2 weeks after learning the news that we're pregnant. No surreal thingies we usually see on pregnant couples on movies. Prior to my getting pregnant, our relationship didn't and won't ever work out due to our differences... So before marrying that guy, your friend should know if she could tolerate him or not!

Halia

Not a good idea! Marriage is sacred and fulfilling but it isn't always a solution to problems, especially if a baby is on the way. I think women nowadays could cope up with a firm decision.

Idalia

Can't help but agree.

Abana

If being in a domestic partnership is ok with her, then she should go for it. Give him a chance and time as well. If after several months from the baby was born he's still acting sucky, then might as well say goodbye to her baby's daddy....

Halia

You know we are on the same situation. But we're not really getting married and all those stuff. BF and I think that we should live together, but his heroin addiction makes that a little impossible. I don't want to be living with a guy who's an addict. But we will definitely solve this before any decision should be made. Trust yourself hun. Be strong. We need to do so for our kids...

Fanny

You've made your point Gaetana. I'm not really going gaga over their business but I'm just overly concerned with my best friend and of course the baby. I love her and treat her as my own sister. I think they haven't really confirmed if they'll wed or not but the chances of them getting married is quite high. You're right, whatever her decision is she's accountable to that. And I just hope she does pick the right choice.